The Artist

It should be easy – like slicing through butter,
Thin layers of skin, soft flesh.
A broken mirror, the tool.
Her left arm, the canvas.
Bright strokes of red appear, slowly beading up;
mind and body go numb before long.
Line after line appears until finally
Exhausted
She collapses.
Her masterpiece is complete
–until tomorrow.




depression untreated

one purple sock falls behind a dryer
lonely and isolated, it collects dust
days, months go by in darkness
color fades into nothing




Depression Revisited

An old friend stopped by today,
But it wasn’t just a social visit.
It seemed that he had planned to stay.

He’s the type of guy who can’t
ever seem to take a hint.
Or maybe he ignores them.
He won’t leave me alone.

He makes me do things that I shouldn’t.
Think things that aren’t right.
He has the uncanny knack of making
me believe the exact opposite of what people really say.

He’s a sneaky one,
Staying gone
Just long enough
to make me think he’s done for.
Then, one day he shows up unannounced
to make life hell once more.




September 2001

My life was interrupted,
As if someone pulled
A rug out from under my feet.
Tumbling
Turning
Falling
Can’t find up or down.

The world’s not right.

Nothing feels the same.
Lost in the air
Until I can’t breathe,
The world’s come up
To slap me in the face.

Nothing will ever be the same.




“Who says the word ‘love’ anymore?”

The bits of torn napkin littering the table
Are an expression of my feelings for

That word.

My fingers are constantly tearing while
You declare your undying devotion after only

8 days.

Your blind eyes say that I feel the same
But I know what you really see

Is fear.

If you could only see the pile of paper snow
In front of me and realize

I’m scared.

Your every kiss stops my heart and
I know that one day those words will come,

I love–

Happily Ever After?

The love, then leave,
never fails.
And then you spend entirely
too much time crying
over the loss of joy that
never really mattered.

But it did.

Finally someone who cared
was there. That hadn’t happened
before. But there’s no such thing as fairy tales.

It never fails.




The Housewife

The frown in her eyes is forgiving
as she draws back the curtain and peers out.
She glances over her shoulder at the broken dishes
littering the floor behind her.

She remembers that morning, looking at the calender,
the relief she felt with nothing to do today.
When he came in, she flinched.
He raised his hand in anger,

but he shattered the dishes instead of her nose.
She briefly wonders if he will forgive her
for whatever she’s done wrong.
Finally, the room goes silent and she realizes he is gone.

The frown in her eyes is forgiving
as she draws back the curtain and peers out.
She glances over her shoulder at the broken dishes
littering the floor behind her.




Rock Climbing – A Pantoum

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
~Phillipians 4:13

The Lord is my strength.
I am at the bottom of my mountain.
And He comforts me.
I’ve fallen many times.

I am at the bottom of my mountain.
Reaching the top is my final goal,
But I’ve fallen many times.
The last time I fell hard.

Reaching the top is my final goal,
But I ended up dazed and bruised at the bottom.
I fell hard.
I’m afraid to begin the climb again.

I ended up dazed and bruised at the bottom.
I was just an arm’s length away from the top.
I’m afraid to begin the climb again.
Usually I managed to hold on.

I was just an arm’s length away from the top,
When I slipped again. I didn’t catch myself.
Usually I managed to hold on.
I fell all the way down.

When I slipped again, I didn’t catch myself.
I expected God to catch me, the way He did before.
I fell all the way down.
He didn’t catch me. He let me fall.

I expected God to catch me, the way He did before,
But He knew something I didn’t,
When He didn’t catch me. When He let me fall.
There’s nowhere to go but up.

He knew something I didn’t.
I can make it on my own.
There’s nowhere to go but up.
I begin my climb again.

I can make it on my own.
He comforts me.
I begin my climb again.
The Lord is my strength.