The last several days have been a roller coaster for me. I did something I absolutely should not have, and it’s weighed heavily on me. At first, I didn’t care. But gradually, I began to realize the ramifications of my actions and how much I disappointed my Father. I won’t go into detail (Eph. 5:12), but I can say that GOD IS GOOD. He pushed me to the point of absolute conviction and caused a change in heart and attitude. He has also awakened my sense of purpose in life.
Today I read Ephesians. It seems like everything I’m reading/hearing this week is about the same general thing. It’s affirming my sense of purpose.
The chastisement continued, but not quite as head on as in previous days:
“…you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and seperated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. HAving lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.”
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
But on the whole, the overall theme of the book (at least the one that stood out to me today) is that of love. Paul tells the Ephesians to be rooted and established in love. To be kind and compassionate to one another. I can’t help but think that I’m not usually that way. In particular in one relationship in my life. A very close friend of mine and I have lost a lot of the closeness that we had because I tend to be bitter and mean-spirited around him. D, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I have a lot to work on, and I know that. I’m not very kind and compassionate to you, and I should be. You’ve been nothing but a fantastic friend to me, and you don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you. Please forgive me for my shortcomings.